Ego comprises that organized part of the personality structure that includes defensive, perceptual, intellectual-cognitive, and executive functions. Conscious awareness resides in the ego, although not all of the operations of the ego are conscious. The ego separates what is real. It helps us to organize our thoughts and make sense of them and the world around us. It may mean one’s self-esteem, an inflated sense of self-worth, or in philosophical terms, one’s self, amour-propre, delight, dignity, egoism, egotism, face, gratification, happiness, self-honor, self-pridefulness, repletion, self-satisfaction, self-admiration, self-confidence, self-glorification, self-love, self-regard, self-respect, self-satisfaction, self-sufficiency, self-trust, self-worth etc.
Ego can be termed as a big social problem world over. We people are highly egoistic and did not want to compromise with it. Especially people who rose higher in ranks or got high position in society or get rich, starts classifying themselves as different class of people than the rest. This is a common story that is why we people still salute to higher status. There are many examples where people use their power to exploit other because only they want to satisfy their own ego. Ego tussles can be seen among people of same class. People are usually hurrying to malign others, only because these people have hurt their ego.
In office rivalries are mostly result of hatreds grown due to ego clashes. Many bosses are more concerned with their own ego satisfaction rather than the benefits of company or department. Due to their ego, these people starts given themselves extra cover of false perceptions. Ego problems are not restrained only up to office or societies but they are very well present inside homes. Ego problems can be seen between all the relations of Father-son, husband-wife, brother-brother or brother-sister, no relations are left alone by the ego problem. With the advent of new technologies and advancement in higher education, these problems are becoming even worse. Now days, a small school going boy or girl also have big ego to satisfy. It looks that people have forgotten the art of forgiving and respect for others. We are only and only concerned with our and only our ego.
An average person always thinks he is above average. The perception of ‘easy and difficult’ is the result of one’s state of being. Swatting a fly is ‘difficult’ for some, while killing thousands is ‘easy’ for others like terrorists. Dropping the ego is easy when we realize that we are less than a dot in this vast cosmos. It is foolish to live with the illusion that we are the center of the cosmos. Dropping ego becomes difficult when we have this illusion.
In any circle, there is a center and a circumference. If the center of your life is hope then you will experience deficiency. If the center of your life is enjoying the moment, being total in the moment… then hope will be a circumference… then it is not a problem. Let kitchen items in the kitchen and bathroom items be in the bathroom. If they are placed elsewhere, then there is a problem. There is no problem with ‘hope’ as such, as long as it is in the circumference and not in the center. Be alive to the present.
The self with arrogance is ego. Self with the ignorance of who we are is also ego. Self filled with hopes and dreams is also ego. Ego lives either in the past or in the future, but never in the present. If its center resides either in the past or in the future it misses the present.
We are living in the world of ego… the ‘lower self’. But if our center is gratitude and devotion, then we live in the present. Both past and future become mere reference points. The ‘higher self’ is a space from which possibilities arise. It is a flow. It is a learning energy. It is an evolving being. You have the choice to operate either from the lower or higher self.
When you operate from ego, your relationships will be affected. Ego wants to prove its point of view. If you feel that the point of view is more important than truth or happiness, you may appear to demand and not command respect. If a couple demands respect from each other, they are beggars of happiness and not givers of happiness. In the egoistic state, an argument feeds the ego. Remember no one wins an argument. You accumulate more of bitterness and at different periods of time you settle scores with the other.
When you operate from the ‘higher self’ there is a healthy discussion. In discussion, truth is more important than who has said it. Happiness and well-being become more important than the survival of one’s point of view. Then, a relationship becomes rhythmic. You enjoy being with the other and you enjoy being alone. You are neither dependent nor independent but interdependent. You share your joyous being and not beg happiness from your partner.
Identity is created by what others have said about us. If others have told you that you are a great speaker, then you feel you are a great speaker. So your identity is dependent on others. In fact, others create your identity. Others validate you. It is painful, as you have invested much on others. Your image is in the hands of others.
The facts is, the real ‘I’ in us is not created by others, but the higher self is our essence. The higher self is a presence. It is awareness we have not learnt to operate from that state of being. Hence, we are alien to ourselves. When your partner separates from you, you feel you are at a loss. Stop and look within. You may find a higher self. Give up Your Ego and you will enjoy the life truly.
Be Happy – Shed Your Ego