Can Partnering with an Immature Man Lower Your Sexual Desire?

Can Partnering with an Immature Man Lower Your Sexual Desire? : Sexual desire is considered an innate, vital part of human biology, but the mind has plenty to do with it—as found in a recent study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour. Sexual desire and arousal are heavily influenced by a myriad of contextual factors, and the relationship with one’s partner is one of the most important of these.

The study showed that being partnered up with an ‘adult-child’—or someone who is ‘inept’ in the home, can be a libido killer for women.

Fair’s Fair

One of the biggest problems of having a partner who is immature—one who does not do their share in the home or know how to use everyday appliances and devices—lies in unfairness. When one person performs the lion’s share of household tasks, they tend to see their partner as a ‘dependent child’ and their sexual desire is reduced. Having to carry the burden of chores has been cited as one reason why more women file for divorce than men. The study additionally indicated that having a low libido cannot solely be attributed to stress. Dissatisfaction with home life, conflict, and feeling overworked can all have a negative impact on one’s sex life.

Less Time to Talk

Study after study has shown that communication about topics such as fantasy and specific desires during sex can boost sexual satisfaction and libido. Couples often have similar fantasies they can play out together. Common fantasies for many people include having sex in unusual or romantic places, sexual submission, and the use of realistic toys like thrusting vibrators or egg vibrators. In order for couples to discuss such intimate desires without a fear of being judged, seeing one’s partner as an equal is key. When one takes on a maternal or paternal stance towards the other, sexual desire can not only wane but also be less likely to be fulfilled by fantasy.

Making Changes in the Home

In order to guarantee more equality at home, couples need to commit to a set schedule and to divide work tasks evenly. Many have found that although one partner may promise to fulfill more obligations, their good intentions may result in a week or two of improvement, but no long-term commitment. Some people like skills with specific tasks such as cooking, using a washing machine, or cleaning surfaces. However, partners who are skilled in this areas can commit to helping their loved one overcome these obstacles and pick up skills until they can become more confident. Partners who need to learn skills, meanwhile, should avoid seeing a call for equality as an attack. If necessary, couples should see a therapist or (if the problem is too vast) reconsider their relationship.

Sexual desire is just one result of equality, respect, and commitment. Couples wishing to enjoy a richer sex life should ensure that the division of chores is equal. Doing so will free up more time for a partner who currently feels overburdened with chores and who lacks time to indulge in fantasy, play, and other pleasurable components of their sex life.