In one of such meetings with my friends, I got one story, so influencing in the content that I feel the same to be important for inclusion in this blog for those friends who wish to feel happy inspite of all the odds and evens they face in their life. With due permission from her, I quote the same here as I could remember out of her narration in that informal meeting.
On a certain occasion, during an elegant welcoming reception for the new Director of Marketing of a Multi-national Company, some of the wives of the other directors who wanted to get acquainted with the new spouse, asked her with some hesitation, “Does your spouse make you happy, truly happy?”
The husband who at the meeting was not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation, sitting up slightly, feeling secure, even filling his chest lightly in pride, knowing that his spouse would answer affirmatively, since she had always been there for him during their marriage.
Nevertheless, to both his and the others’ surprise, she replied simply, “No, no he doesn’t make me happy.” The venue became uncomfortably silent as if everyone were listening to the spouse’s response.
The husband was petrified. He couldn’t believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important occasion for him. To the amazement of her husband and of everyone, she simply placed enigmatically on her head an elegant black silk scarf and continued, “No, he does not make me happy. BUT I AM HAPPY. The fact, that I am happy or not, does not depend on him, but on me.”
“I am the only person upon whom my happiness depends. I make the choice to be happy in each situation and in each moment of my life. If my happiness were to depend on the other people, on the other things or circumstances beyond my control, I know that I can not be a happy person in this world. Everyone has some intention to make me happy – that means, some vested interest. Why I should remain happy is none of their matter – they would attach utmost importance to their own happiness, why to mine. None of your relations is greater than that with yourself.”
She added, “Everything that exists in this life changes continually – humans, wealth, body, climatic and physical pleasures etc. I could enumerate an infinite list. Over my life I have learned a couple of things. It is not the responsibility of my spouse to make me happy. He also has his own experiences or circumstances. Why should he be responsible for my happiness? I am also responsible to make him, to keep him happy as I wish from him.”
If the two of us love and forgive each other, the changes will only be our joint experiences or circumstances to enrich us and give us strength, Otherwise we would be living together only.
If someone gets disappointed with the spouse, the divorce is the only solution (in some cases it is the easiest to get offload the depression being created by an unsuccessful marriage). To truly love is difficult. It is to forgive unconditionally, to adjust with the circumstances to make them happy for you as they are being faced by both of you together and being happy is your conviction to the relationship you build up.
There are those who say, “I can not be happy because I am sick, because I have no money, because it is too cold, because they insulted me, because someone stopped loving me, because some one does not appreciate me!” There are so many reasons – so general and so specific to each individual that you may not be able to compile. Out of them, some can be real or some can be emotional ones.
But what we don’t know that we can be happy even though we are sick, whether it is too hot whether we have sufficient money or not, whether some one has insulted us or someone loves me or has some value for me or not. It is our attitude how we take the circumstances and how we adjust to our own wishes, our own intention. It is our attitude about life and each of us must decide how we should feel happy in the given set of the circumstances.
Being happy depends on you, not on your spouse.
Be Happy – Feel Happy.