Differentiate Between You and Others (Part 1)

There is a vast difference between living and happy living. God has gifted us such a beautiful life with enormous sources to enjoy it. Why should we waste it? We have discrimination how to lead our life in the way we like. Those who are not courageous enough take strange plea why they could not lead a happy life – some contribute to their circumstances, spouse, fate etc. but would not keep themselves responsible for the failures. They would never like to analyze why they could not achieve their aims. Less focus, over-greed, short of competence or determination, over confidence or lack of confidence can be amongst the various reasons of such failures. But due to ego, a normal person does not accept his failures very easily unless he is continuously convinced and/or pursued to change his working method. Who will pursue you to convince about the reasons of your failures? Why should other person pursue you for this cause? Does he get sufficient time apart from his personal obligations? No, for your happiness, you will have to make efforts yourself. Yes, you can do it easily – just change your thinking pattern and when others follow you, you will feel that if there is heaven on the earth, that is available around you. It is true or not true is to experience it for yourself by being always truthful, positive and helping others. Then, please observe the results. It works in every one’s life and it will work for you in your daily life positively since our hardware is all the same. It’s only our software – how we think that differentiates us from everyone else.

The only difference between you and another person is how long it takes you to experience or recognize the repercussions from being untruthful, negative and selfish. In the world of high competition, the feedback is immediate and easy to see because negative emotions literally destroy your ability to perform at high levels. If you are active, you can learn from your mistakes.

If you still think that you are your mind, your commitment of being always truthful, positive and helping others will force you to start witnessing how you behave according to what is on your memory sheet. Your spirit will become the witness of all your thoughts, actions and emotions. Your spirit will know when you are living according to the commitment and more importantly when you are not living accordingly.

Living with the commitment will help you to reprogram your memory sheet and increase awareness and natural abilities. It will help you realize that you are not your mind and your internal happiness is not dependent on the outside world. You will learn that the outside world is a reflection of your inner world, which you can control if you have a very strong desire and back it up with positive action. If your mind is resisting making a total commitment to live 100%, we must ask ourselves why and write down our reasons.

Whatever reason our memory sheet comes up with for not making the commitment a major goal of our life, there will be a negative emotion attached to it. Otherwise, why would we resist committing to being always truthful, positive and helping others? We must be aware that our negative emotions adversely affect our mind’s ability to think, function and reason.

If you have decided to live by your commitment of being always truthful, positive and helping others 100% of the time or to the best of your ability until you can, here are some insights that can help you to do the same. These insights can be used to increase your success and happiness in everything you do in your life. However, the three prerequisites needed to benefit by these insights are desire, honesty and an open mind.


The first step in undertaking any journey begins with desire to reach a destination or goal. Without desire, you would not even get out of bed in the morning. The greater the journey to success and happiness, the greater the amount of desire required.

How much desire is required to reach your goals? The strength of desire needed is in direct proportion to the degree of success you wish to attain. If you desire to be the best in the world, you need to have the strongest desire. On the other hand, if you only want to be mediocre, you only need a mediocre desire. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, your level of desire must be a 10 plus if you expect to be the best at whatever you choose to accomplish.


The following story will help you relate to what a desire of 10 plus is.

Once upon a time, a Zen student asked his master when he would reach enlightenment. The Zen master replied, “When your desire is strong enough, you will attain enlightenment.” The frustrated student, who had spent years studying under the master, felt his desire was already sufficiently strong. The master, sensing this frustration, led his student to a pond to teach him a lesson on desire. When they were waist high in the water, the master asked the student to kneel down. Then, the master held the student by the shoulders and submerged his head under the water. As the seconds without air became minutes, the student desperately needed to breathe. The student tried to raise his head above the water’s surface. The master relentlessly kept his student’s head firmly under the water.

After a great struggle, the student finally broke away from his master’s steel grip and caught a breath of air. The student gasping for breath cried out at his master, “Are you trying to kill me?” The master sternly replied, “When your desire for enlightenment becomes as strong as your overwhelming desire to breathe was, you will find enlightenment.”

When I started my search to find happiness and a more meaningful life, I had a very, very strong desire to find the answer. I wasn’t looking to become enlightened, I just wanted to be happy and live a meaningful life. In the process of using my commitment of being always truthful, positive and helping others as my compass, my self-awareness and understanding of the big picture of life has grown immensely and continues to grow.

Since we live in a very orderly universe, we must limit our desires to stay within Natural and Universal Laws, or suffer the consequences that our misdirected desires create for us. Living the commitment of being always truthful, positive and helping others has helped me to eliminate many desires and distractions that were leaving me unfulfilled. I was confusing short term pleasures that did not last with inner happiness that did.

It takes a very strong desire and total commitment to be able to live the change 100% of the time, otherwise your mind will rationalize why it’s OK to make exceptions whenever it is convenient.

Goals: Outcome versus Process

Many individuals do not realize that there are two types of goals. There are outcome goals that give you direction, such as: being happy, having a good education, being married, having children, having a job you love, having money, owning a house, car and etc. What are even more important are process goals, which include the dedication and hard work required to achieve your outcome goals.

Process means as “a series of actions or operations conducing to an end.” If you perform the process correctly, the outcome takes care of itself. If you want to be on the other side of the street (outcome), do the process of pointing yourself in the right direction and taking one step at a time until you reach the other side of the street. Living the commitment of being always truthful, positive and helping others is both an outcome goal and a process. It is a process that will increase your natural abilities and create attractor fields that will help you to achieve all of your outcome goals that are aligned with the big picture.

While you may not be able to control the outcome, you can control your thoughts and actions required to improve the process. Success in doing and mastering the process builds confidence and improves your brain’s chemistry, making it easier to achieve your desired outcome.

If you pay the price required to master your memory sheet and the process, it is only a matter of time until you reach your outcome goals. You can only fail if you stop trying. Use your setbacks as opportunities to learn from the feedback and to increase your desire to improve. Motivate yourself to work harder and smarter until you reach the outcome you are striving for.

This applies to being able to live your commitment of being always truthful, positive and helping others 100% of the time at your disposal. If you’re not able to be always truthful, become more truthful. If you’re not able to be always positive, become more positive. If you’re not able to always be helpful, become more helpful. If you keep striving to do your best to live your commitment, it is just a matter of time until you will be able to.

Setting goals and writing them down are very important steps on the road to success. However, most individuals do not have goals. If they do, they usually fail to write them down. Written goals have, what seems to be, a mysterious way of becoming real.

There are two reasons why people don’t write down goals. The first reason is similar to why many people stop making New Year Resolutions. They do not keep their resolutions or goals; so they stop making them. The second reason why individuals do not write down their goals is that it is time consuming. Also, their goals may change and have to be rewritten.

A short cut for keeping written goals is to use 3 by 5 index cards. Take a stack of index cards and write down each thing you desire to happen in your life (short, medium and long-term goals) on a separate index card. Then, put them in order of importance to you. Do not be concerned with what you consider is realistic or unrealistic to accomplish. Just write it down and place it in its order of importance. As your goals change, toss out the cards that no longer apply and add new ones. Then, rearrange the cards in their order of priority. This method for keeping written goals is easy. It saves you a lot of time.

Kindly read your cards at least twice a day; once at night before you go to sleep and once in the morning when you get up. If you do, you will be amazed how many of your dreams come true. Sometimes it may take months or years for your goals to materialize. However, if you do this on a regular basis, you will be way ahead of the game. The goal cards keep you and your memory sheet on course by reminding you where to focus your energy to attain your desires. Don’t forget to write down the process goals needed to accomplish your outcome goals.

Alternatively, you can print out your commitment of being always truthful, positive and helping others and put it in a nice frame where you will see it frequently every day. The more times that you reflect upon these eight words through out the day, the easier it will become to live your life by them without making any exceptions.

Performance over Time

Rarely do individuals improve or change overnight. Normally, performance improves over time in a gradual up and down progression as your learn from the feedback how to keep getting better. By aligning your thoughts and actions with your commitment of being always truthful, positive and helping others, you will gain the strength and ability to master your memory sheet and the processes that lead to reaching your goals. The amount of time required to reach your outcome goals depends on the strength of your desire and the action you take. It can be a fast journey or a slow one. You set your pace according to your desire and action. You can realize that desire without action is just a wish. A wish is not strong enough to change your memory sheet and your life.

If you have a strong desire to increase your success and happiness, make living your commitment of being always truthful, positive and helping others a major part of your life because this is the fastest way to change your memory sheet and improve your brain’s chemistry. If you do, you will increase all of your natural abilities and make your life a lot smoother and happier.

In the next post, we may discuss more factors. Till that time, we may differentiate ourselves with others. Be Happy – differentiate yourself with others.