In course of time, such needs come up because of a certain sense of incompleteness. People form relationships to experience a certain sense of completeness within. Life is a complete entity by itself. So why is it feeling incomplete? And, why is it trying to fulfill itself by making a partnership with another piece of life? Because we have not explored life in its full depth and dimension. Besides, there is a complex process of relationships as such. There are too many expectations at each level of relationship. The parents nurture the relationship with their children as they feel a part of their duty to groom up them to become independent later on as well as provide themselves necessary helping hand whenever there is a need so in their old age or emergency.
However, it is true that every expectation can not be fulfilled but that can be cared for in due course of time. Someone has to make compromise somewhere. Especially in the man-woman relationship, the expectations are so unrealistic that even if you marry a god or a goddess, they will fail you. but if you understand what the source of these expectations is, you could form a beautiful partnership. People’s expectations are changing as their perception and experience of life is changing, but they are not changing at the same pace. Relationships become a source of great conflict. More conflict is happening with in homes than anywhere else.
If you try the management approach there is no way you can gauge it 100 per cent. If you try to mind-read the other person and constantly try to fulfil expectations, you will become a wreck. You too will have to care for your capacity to make your efforts. Fundamentally, you are seeking a relationship because you want to be happy, joyful. Or you are trying to use the other as a source of your happiness. If you are forming relationships, trying to squeeze happiness out of somebody and the person is trying to squeeze happiness out of you, this is going to be so painful.
But if your life becomes an expression of your joy, not a pursuit of happiness, then relationships will naturally wonderful. Shifting you life from the pursuit of happiness to an expression of joyfulness is what is needed for relationships to really work. Right now, your body, mind emotions and on a deeper level, your very energies are made in such a way that you still need relationships. If your body goes in search of a relationship, we call this sexuality. If your mind goes in search of relationships, we call this companionship. If your emotions go in search of relationships, we call this love. If your energies go in search of relationships, we call this yoga. All these efforts are just to become one with something else, because somehow being who you are right now is not enough.
Suppose you are very joyful or loving and your life energies feel very exuberant, you feel a certain sense of extension. What does it mean? First, what is it that you call as ‘myself’? What is the basis for you to know ‘this is me and this is not me’? Right now, whatever is within the boundaries of your sensation, you experience as ‘myself’.
Yoga is about this for the word itself means ‘union’. Whatever is the longing behind any relationship, you will never really know that oneness. But if you experience all this life around you as a part of yourself, the way you exist here will be very different. Relationships will only become a way of looking towards the others’ needs, not about your own because you have no need of your own anymore.
Once there are no compulsions within you and everything that you do becomes conscious, relationships will become a true blessing, no more a longing, no more a struggle.
You need to nurture your relationships at every level so that they may prove long lasting with happiness. Be Happy- Nurture your relationships not to the maximum but to the fullest extent.