Reasons to Be Thankful for Your Last Heartbreak

Love & Sex
By

  1. The worst of it is over. The fighting, the negotiating, the returning of the oversized T-shirts, the Facebook status update change that everyone and their mom commented on with “:(“. You’re done with all of that now.

  2. You’re not dragging it out for that extra “We should break up but we’re too lazy/codependent so we’ll let it go until it becomes totally unbearable and also I use your HBO GO password” year. Or maybe you did. But you’re not letting it go on for another one, which is 365 days less of being stuck in a bad relationship.

  3. You can do all the things that your ex-partner hated. He didn’t like when you used apple cider vinegar in your shampoo? And let the cat sleep in bed? And did Jillian Michaels DVDs in the living room really loudly while he was trying to work in the bedroom? Now you can do all those things. At once, even!

  4. You’ll learn to appreciate having time for yourself again. Whether you want to use that time to do yoga, get a facial, or do some work, your time is all yours again. You’re allowed to be selfish now.

  5. You have more time for your friends. Let’s be honest, once you get serious, your significant other takes up at least 50 percent of your time. Think about all the female friends you’ve lost to boyfriends.

  6. By ending the relationship, you can put things in more perspective and see how much you’ve changed and grown. A huge reason that really serious long-term relationships don’t work out is because both people are changing — usually getting closer to the mature, grown-up human beings they’ll eventually be. So drifting apart is sad, but actually indicates positive change in both of you as individuals.

  7. You’re free to find someone who fits with the person you are now. #Upgrade. You need your Significant Other 2.0.

  8. You learned how to function during a time of extreme sadness and stress. Unlike college breakups, when you could ostensibly go into semi-catatonic shut-in phase and spend 48 hours in your dorm room under the covers with Law & Order SVU and a roll of raw cookie dough, you’re a grown-up now, and you need to go to work. Even though you just got hit by the Feelings Truck. And figuring out how to drag your emotionally wounded ass into the shower and then into the office will bolster your capacity to live through future calamities day-to-day.

  9. You can have sex with that cute guy friend you’ve always kind of wanted to have sex with and maybe have almost had sex with a few times before. Find out if the sexual tension and buildup was worth it! At the very least, it’ll be a fun mystery to finally solve! Kind of a Nancy Drew and the Curious Case of Long-Awaited Deep Dicking.

  10. You can — actually, you’re basically required to — binge-watch Sex and The City and unabashedly identify with Carrie. He’s soooOOOO Mr. Big. I mean, he was a year younger than me, and nice, and an interior designer, and not from New York, and Asian, but other than that, he’s SOOOOOO Mr. Big.

  11. You can relearn how to do nice things just for yourself. When you were with your partner, maybe they were the one who pushed you to do the dishes, cook nice dinners, and suggested you go on a vacation together. But now you can learn how to treat yourself or make your home a nicer place to live in, just because you respect yourself, not because you have an obligation as someone’s girlfriend.

  12. You get to make a Pinterest board of inspirational breakup quotes and none of your friends will judge you (temporarily, at least). OK, I might.