6 Signs You Need Couples Therapy : Relationships are not always rainbows and butterflies. It’s normal for couples to fight or argue over the little things. In fact, all couples have their own ups and downs. However, too many arguments can be damaging to both of you, and it can take a toll on your emotional and mental well-being.
Couples therapy can be a big help with such problems, but you may have preconceived notions about whether it’s right for you.
What Is Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy is a form of counselling that is centered on improving a couple’s relationship. It is a type of psychotherapy that seeks to understand the relationship and resolve the conflict. It is done by a licensed therapist who employs therapeutic methods.
In couples therapy, the licensed therapist can help resolve issues regarding intimacy, sex, intimacy, division of household responsibilities, and many other problems. While there’s a stigma that only couples going through a hard time can go to couples therapy, it actually can be healthy for a couple to go through the therapy at any phase of the relationship.
There are different methods in couples therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, the Gottman method, emotionally focused therapy, and Ellen Wachtel’s approach, integrative.
6 Signs You Need Couples Therapy
Are you considering going to couples therapy but having doubts about it? Here are the signs you may need couples therapy:
There are trust issues in the relationship
Trust is hard to earn. It is the foundation of a healthy relationship. There is no point in a relationship if you can’t trust your partner. If you and your partner have trust issues, you may begin to see your partner as the enemy.
You need to rely on and trust each other because as partners, you should be on the same team. Otherwise, you might start depending on other people to trust. While it’s okay to seek emotional support from other people, it should first come from your partner. If you or your partner seeks emotional support and trust in other people and not in the relationship, it’s a sign to go to couples therapy.
You constantly argue without resolving the problem
Bickering is part of any relationship. But sometimes, squabbles happen so often that you don’t recognize that the unhealthy patterns anymore. If you start arguing over the little things, it could be because you are trying to release tension within the relationship. This may include getting irritable with each other for no apparent reason. Or you could start with a small argument that ends up escalating to a higher-level argument you’ve been having again and again. It’s just blame and defend, blame and defend, and repeat.
Couples therapy can help you communicate effectively with each other as well as find out the underlying cause of recurring arguments. By knowing these reasons, you can start improving as a couple.
You keep secrets from each other
It’s okay to keep some things to yourself. We all have the right to privacy. However, keeping ‘secrets’ from your partner can ruin your relationship, especially if it’s something your partner deserves to know. When you keep secrets about things like money, work, or friendships from your partner, you may be forming trust issues with your partner. If anything, you should be more transparent with your partner than anyone else.
There’s a lack of intimacy
Talking about intimacy and sex is important in a relationship. As time goes by, many couples will experience a decline in intimacy (such as kissing and hugging) and sex. While this is a typical phase many couples experience, there might be a problem if you start to become less intimate physically, emotionally, or romantically. This may mean you are less interested in your partner, or other issues could be “spilling into the bedroom”. Couples therapy is a good way to discuss emotional and physical intimacy.
There’s a gap in communication
A lack of communication is one of the most common problems a couple can experience. When a couple stops communicating with each other, it’s often the cause of constant fights and unresolved conflicts. It may be hard to open up with your partner if there’s already a gap in the communication. And you might end up fighting after venting out all the negative issues. Having an open discussion in couples therapy is an effective way to address the communication issue.
The spark is gone
It takes a lot of effort to maintain the spark and giddy feelings in a relationship. If you feel your partner is more like a roommate than a lover, that may mean the spark is gone, and it could be a sign that you need couples therapy. Of course, the giddy feelings and the honeymoon phase at the start of a relationship won’t last forever. But still, it’s necessary to stay connected to your partner.
A licensed therapist can help you point out the problems that make you feel more like roommates. They can also help improve the relationship and bring back that spark or feelings of contentment.
When Is The Right Time For Couples Therapy?
Do you happen to experience the above mentioned signs in your relationship? If one or more of these signs is happening in your relationship right now, it’s best to start couples therapy. Some couples wait years before visiting a couples therapist, and at that time, it may be too late to save the relationship. Or, they might have been able to resolve their issues earlier and enjoy more years of intimacy and contentment.
Conclusion: Do You Need Couples Therapy?
There’s a few common misconceptions about couples therapy. Some people think that there has to be a big problem before going through it. Another stigma around it is that it is done by a couple whose relationship is about to fall apart. It’s healthy for a couple to go to couples therapy at any stage of their relationship.
Aside from resolving relationship conflicts, there are other benefits in couples therapy. A couples therapy can make your relationship more fulfilling and connected.
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