You know, life is a series of systems. Your morning “routine” is a system. How you generate leads, make sales, lose weight, make dinner, clean the house, hire help, get groceries, gas up the car, mow the lawn and clean the pool is a system. But what happens when your self-confidence takes a hit, overwhelm, frustration, anger, sadness, fear, hurt or guilt creeps into your life? What’s your system for getting out of that?
Do you even have a system for handling emotional meltdowns? It’s not the problems that creep into your life that are causing you not to achieve your potential.It’s not the sale you didn’t make, the “not as clean as you’d like” house, the new thing you’re trying to learn that’s taking too long or the goal left unmet.What’s causing you to under-perform is none of those things. It’s how you handle your own emotional state that’s keeping you from reaching your potential.
Have you ever seen American Idol?Those kids get up on the stage and overcome rejection, fear, confidence-busters, overwhelm, jealousy, anger and hurt every week.Just like you.But it really doesn’t have to be that hard.With the right help and tools, you can literally zap any of those negative success blockers and move forward in your life, your business and your relationships fast. You’re smart – you don’t need more education.You need the right action.
For experiencing pleasures of life, its duration is too short whereas a life full of grief seems to be longer one. Everyone needs pleasures in life, dreams for it and tries for the best achievements. To achieve your biggest dreams in life, whatever they may be, you need to be supported by yourself only, to achieve a specific outcome… you know what your purpose is… you know what your reasons are for wanting to achieve your goal… or maybe you just don’t want the punishment or the negative outcome that would happen if you don’t achieve this goal. Either way, you have a purpose and you know what it is… And if the goal is big and challenging, that probably is not to be enough… …especially if you don’t picture yourself as successful in this area of life (where your goal is), or if you aren’t loaded with confidence in your ability to get it done or if you don’t enjoy doing the things required to reach your goal… …because when you don’t like doing something, you won’t do it for very long (or very well) before it feels like absolute torture. I don’t know anyone who likes to be tortured.
At other times, you might have tremendous confidence in your ability to do a thing that you have to do or are asked to do… but if you aren’t particularly motivated (no big “why”) to do it, you probably won’t try very hard and won’t do nearly as well as you can. So even though it’s vitally important, confidence alone is not the key to success…
There are so many ways you can groom up yourself for the success and success only. A few amongst them can be briefed as below:
1) .You must build up an image of yourself as successful identity in the society First of all, you need to develop an image of success, an image of yourself as successful identity in the society. Define your goals in clear cut terms – no ambiguity. Suppose you need to have education to such and such level, that you need your spouse be having so and so qualification, you need to a good, big, bigger house with amenities, you need to have children, their good education, good child care, good pension plans, good medical help, good doctors, good job, business, leisure vacation, you wish to pursue your spirituality based needs, your assets and lives are having fully insurance covered, your short term, long term and recurring incomes are safe, secured etc. etc.
After defining our goals, we identify our resources to achieve them. In process of identification the resources, we should make an introspection of self too. Each of us has hundreds of identities concerning our skills and abilities (or lack of them) They come from the feedback the world gives us (parents, family, friends, bosses, teachers, etc.) our physical bodies, our choices, actions, intelligence, how good we do in school, socially, business, etc. Everything we do and everything that happens to us creates and reinforces our many self-images including our worthiness to be, and have what we want.
If you are going after a big goal that would take a long time to achieve, you could be motivated, you could be smart as anything, you could know exactly what to do to reach your specific objective, but unless you have the deeply ingrained self-image of person who is successful at the thing you desire most, you probably won’t achieve the objective, or if you do, you won’t keep your success very long…
You could have the self-image of a successful gardener, a terrific business person, a great parent… and your actions will back up those self-images. But if, at the same time, you also see yourself as a smoker, as a drug user, as a person who is not worthy of being loved… many of your decisions and actions, unfortunately, would back up those self-images, too.
You need to develop yourself in positive terms only and if you do it, as a result, you will become a person who would never do anything against this strong image of yourself that you now hold in your mind. It’s who you are after all. And with repetitive conditioning, this new image will be as much a part of you as your race, your color, your native language, your height and your shoe size. Just like cat’s meow and dog’s bark, once you see yourself this way, you will act accordingly with no force necessary and no chance of going back to the old ways.
2) You must Know Your Purpose Deeply .With no purpose, there’s no drive. With no big benefits to go after or no pain to avoid, there’s no motivation. Knowing what’s in it for you is a big key to the ignition of your 5,000 horsepower potential. When you have a real reason for succeeding at something, a big emotionally charged “why,” you will move heaven and earth to get what you want. Think about a recent failed attempt to quit a habit or gain something you’ve wanted for a while. Chances are excellent that you didn’t want it that bad. If you did, you probably would have done what it took to get it. You’d know the financial benefits. You’d know the spiritual, social, health, physical and career benefits. You’d have thought about what you’d lose if you failed. You’d known who else would benefit. You’d probably have it all written out. You’d be able to sell yourself on setting the goal. You’d been able to sell the people who could help you, too. An inspiring purpose is essential if you are to reach any challenging long range goal in life.
And when this purpose orientation gets driven into you through constant positive repetition, you will not need to light a fire under your butt to get started and on your way. You’ll have a constant fire lit. You’ll have a firm foundation under you when things get difficult… when hard decisions need to be made.You’ll always have a “true North” compass in your purpose when you get turned around by temptation, false promises and by the shockingly fast speed that life comes at you.
3) You must imagine each successful step.Everyone has heard the stories of athletes mentally rehearsing the perfect performance, and then following it up with, well… a perfect performance. But athletics isn’t the only arena this happens… Actually, you do it all day, every day of your life. It’s one of the brain’s primary functions. Seeing, hearing, and smelling, tasting and feeling imagined situations that haven’t actually happened yet. You do and everyone you will ever meet does it all day, every day. And it’s effective. The trouble is, most of the time, you are seeing yourself mess up (or just doing things other than what would be most helpful to you) when it comes to most of the resolutions you set, the big dreams you have in practically every area of your life. Almost everyone does this.
Visualizing, or imagining, is the mental track you ride on all day, every day. See it in your mind, do it. Hear it in your mind, do it. Feel it in your body, do it. Imagine the smell or the taste, eat it. And when you have adopted the champion’s habit of seeing things going the way you want, reaching your outcomes will be a hundred times easier… like it was just meant to be. Previously hard choices will be simple to make. Mistakes won’t stop you. And any worry habit will leave you. Your stress level will plummet…
4) .You must maintain constant mental connection to benefits of reaching goal .Having a strong purpose that excites you is absolutely critical if you want to reach any truly challenging long range goal. Only about 40% of all big dreamers with big goals even know what their big “whys” are. And of those people only about 10% spend enough time thinking about them to stay inspired by them. The most people fall down in their quest for whatever their dream is by not keeping the benefits of reaching them in the minds. The first time there’s a temptation, they forget about their goal. Unforeseen delay? The stress sends them off doing something more “fun.” Tight deadline? They’re off screwing around. Funds short? They’re off playing lotto, or blowing their money on other senseless crap. Holiday party? “Well, just one won’t hurt.” This is a major difference between those who routinely succeed and everyone else. Weak motivation. No determination. Zero persistence… Taking your eye off the ball. You see, just having a big Motivating WHY is not enough… They have to jump up when temptations show up.
Whenever you give up, you’re probably not thinking about your “why” often enough.Many of the cherished goals in your life require that you have an almost obsessive preoccupation with your purpose in order for you to succeed. Isn’t that the kind of obsession you want cancer researchers to have? Aren’t your dreams and goals important, too?
5) .You must believe in your ability Confidence is more than just the absence of doubt. It is the complete certainty in ability or of outcome. It comes from previous success at a thing, from encouragement, intense desire, imagination, preparation and from courage… the ability to get yourself to do a thing even though you may be scared out of your mind. Because confidence is not an absence of fear. Confidence in your ability to do a thing won’t absolutely guarantee your success, but it can help to keep you from quitting. Confidence eliminates worry. It can help you enjoy yourself. An I Can attitude will help you to visualize success more clearly. In the absence of experience, you must rely on faith and on your imagination.
6) You must take appropriate action .If you are unable to take the actions required, your dreams will only stay dreams.The people who meet with the most success in every field of endeavor, those who have few bad habits, the ones who are respected and admired by everyone, the happiest people alive are action oriented. But they’re not just busy to be busy. If you were to walk around in a big circle 10 hours a day for 10 days straight, logging many miles, but you would have accomplished nothing besides burning a lot of calories. Accomplishment is the result of planned, purposeful action. If you live and believe on yourself each day, your immediate goal and all the goals you desire therafter are sure to be achieved… As surely as the sun will rise tomorrow.
7) You must Enjoy Goal Achieving Actions .Face it, you’ll only do something for so long if you don’t like doing it. Many people have the action bug. They’ve got to stay moving. It’s who they are.But many of these same people start and quit a lot of things. They’re not lazy. They’re active. But they have mastered Failure moods like Negative neuro-associations to what you need to do to reach your goal, Focusing only on what is wrong, not on what is right and Mentally “blowing up” the size/difficulty of goal achieving tasks. And if you hate doing some of the things you need to do to reach the goals you say you want to reach, it’s just a matter of time before you quit… and move on to the next thing, leaving behind you a wake of frustration.
If it’s your habit to see your goal achieving tasks and decisions taking full of enjoyment, you will stick with them longer, you will enjoy each and every day of your life more, you will notice a dramatic drop in stress, your confidence will be higher. You will actually look happily forward to doing whatever you have to do to succeed.
8) You must find Lessons In Goal Achieving Actions, Failures & Successes.Practically everyone you will ever meet, even some pretty effective, “successful” people, spend a fair amount of their time in a semi-stupor, making some good decisions, some bad – never analyzing and understanding what they do right or how they do it. So they can’t duplicate it regularly and can’t routinely transfer their success from one area of life to another without years of laboring at it. And on the flip side of the equation, most people don’t really look at and understand what they do wrong in order to avoid repeating the same mistakes over and over. The most accomplished people in all disciplines, on the other hand, don’t have this problem. The best actors, the best athletes, the healthiest people, the best executives, the best salespeople, the best investors all pay close attention to their failures and their successes… So they learn quickly and improve quickly… so they don’t continually repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
9) You must consider Problems, Mistakes, Setbacks and Delays As Small .How quickly you can “cool down” and recover from the negative situations tells you everything about yourself. You see, no matter what you want most at this moment, if it’s a big enough goal, you can be assured that, sooner or later, you will meet with “resistance” from the outside world. Little delays, mistakes by you or someone else. Criticism. Jealousy. Accidents. Temptations. Cancellations. Lost opportunity. Big and small failures. The most effective people we studied get solving things within milliseconds, no rages, no yelling, no crying, no delays. Just BOOM! Helpful inner dialog, the right questions and the right answers come instantly.
They start with empowering questions. What does this mean? How can I fix this now? What is the best thing to do this very second? How can I help? What can I do to get back on course fast? I’m lucky… it could have been a whole lot worse. I can still get to where I want to go. It was just a speed bump. And actually, the most effective people DO plan for problems so they don’t get blindsided as easily. They mentally practice what they will do in all kinds of sticky situations long before they ever happen.
10) You must know, appreciate What You Receive From Success.Whenever you finish a task, big or small, you are given an opportunity to receive something. Many times your only reward, in the case of small accomplishments, could simply be a feeling of satisfaction and a confidence boost, however small. And obviously, bigger, more challenging achievements should make you feel a lot better than small ones. But people with “average” accomplishments, and even those with very “above average” accomplishments take little or no pleasure in what they “get” from their successes. They may receive a lot of outer rewards, but no joy. Just a feeling of lack. Jealousy of others. They can never get enough pats on the back, enough money or enough thanks.
To the extent that you love what you get from every victory in life, whether it be the “outer” stuff like awards, money, affection, fame or the “inner” feelings that you get from reaching a goal that took serious effort and sacrifice indicates the likelihood that you’ll keep doing it… Because if you don’t appreciate your little victories, you’ll be miserable. And you’ll make other people miserable right along with you. It can cause addictive behaviors, create family strife, it can create trouble in your relationships. Your health could suffer. And increased stress level could put you in the hospital and maybe the grave sooner than you’d like. Bad destiny…And when you regularly and sincerely take conscious notice of and appreciate what your successes do for you and for others in every way, you will feel like one of the luckiest people in the world… every day of your life.
11) You must maintain High Standards, Pride In Your Efforts & Accomplishments .Talent doesn’t ensure it. Good looks don’t give it to you. Money can’t buy it. One of the truest measures of success in life is to be a person who puts your best effort into everything you do. Not for love or money. Not for acknowledgment. Not to beat an opponent, but because that’s just who you are. Using the benefits of achievement as a motivational tool will help to ensure success. But being excellent because you simply can’t imagine being any other way is the essence of true leadership, of integrity and character. Most people are lacking in this essential leadership trait. The average person will lie to themselves, cheat themselves and steal from themselves because they don’t appreciate the colossal benefits of being impeccable, of not settling for the scraps of life, of doing their best and being true to their word and sticking with their commitments. You must keep yourself always ready to proceed on, to go out of your place of halt/your residence to exploit the opportunity at right time.