Apart from the basic necessities, one needs to be equipped with habits for good communication skills, as this is what will make them a happy and successful social being. Some time ago, I had made some submissions on this topic. For some time, I have been feeling that they require some additions again. That is why I again took over this subject.
While communicating, we commit some major blunders. These are naturally the violation of the general principles of communication. Such include talking about topics that are considered taboo, talking behind somebody else’s back, and basing stories on exaggerations, or worse, lies.
However, these are not the only blocks we can stumble on when we engage in conversations with other people. There are so-called mechanical blunders, as well, which often result from not thinking seriously about what we are talking about, carelessness, or not keeping a close eye on our own conversation techniques. We must be careful about them. Because the ability to communicate is the primary factor that distinguishes human beings from animals. And it is the ability to communicate well that distinguishes one individual from another.
In order to develop these habits, one needs to first acknowledge the fact that they need to improve communication skills from time to time. They need to take stock of the way they interact and the direction in which their work and personal relations are going. The only constant in life is change, and the more one accepts one’s strengths and works towards dealing with their shortcomings, especially in the area of communication skills, the better will be their interactions and the more their social popularity.
The dominating question that comes here is: How to improve communication skills? Well, the answer is simple. One can find plenty of literature on this. There are also experts, who conduct workshops and seminars based on communication skills of men and women. In fact, a large number of companies are bringing in trainers to regularly conduct sessions on the subject, in order to help their work force maintain better interpersonal work relations.
Today, effective communication skills has become a predominant factor even while recruiting employees. While interviewing candidates, most interviewers judge them on the basis of the way they communicate. They believe that skills can be improvised on the job; but ability to communicate well is important, as every employee becomes the representing face of the company.
There are trainers, who specialize in delivering custom-made programs on the subject. Through the session they not only facilitate better skills in the department of communications, but also look into the problems that come in the way of being able to convey messages effectively. They discuss these issues with the management and then sought to design programs accordingly. For instance, time mismanagement becomes a cause for stress and frustration, which then hampers the possibility of healthy communications at work. Then in weeks to come the company organizes a program on time management. Thus, a workshop on communication skills helps the management t to deal with the finer employee nuances about which they lack awareness.
Some of the most common technical conversation blunders can be summarized as below:
Using pet words regardless of their suitability to the topic or the situation:
There are people who call everything they like ‘fabulous’, ‘cute’, or ‘darling’, and call things they don’t like ‘weird’, ‘dull’, or ‘lousy’. There are appropriate words to describe certain things. A building is not cute; a movie cannot be ghastly; a book cannot be weird; a restaurant cannot be a darling. Use words properly. Also, if you are one of these people who use pet words a lot, try to reduce their usage to a minimum. Be aware of the things that are coming out of your mouth. It can be very annoying.
Using big words inappropriately.
You’ve encountered people like this already – those who like using superfluous terms and phrases (probably to make a good impression). There also are those who seem to enjoy using words like ‘basically’, ‘actually’, ‘so to speak’, ‘you know’, etc. Get them out of your system. Not only are they unnecessary, they’re also time and effort wasting.
A lot of us are guilty of this. We tend to introduce our stories with “Let me tell you about the weirdest thing I’ve ever experienced” or “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.” While these kinds of statements are subjective and you are entitled to them, you should also think about the other person in the conversation. It might not be so for him or her, and by being so, the momentum you tried to create did not have the effect you were expecting. Get real.
Getting too personal.
You don’t need to dish out all the dirt about your life just to get attention at a party. People will naturally listen to you if you make sense, not because you’re giving fodder for gossip. Telling too much about yourself is like baring your soul to a group of strangers. It’s okay to be real about your feelings, but it’s awkward to get too revealing, because you don’t know how other people will react to your stories. It could lead you to your undoing and you have no one to blame but yourself.
Too much slang.
Whatever the language you use, you must use proper language. Don’t bastardize the language and pepper it with slang. You can only use slang if the people around you speak the same way. But if you’re in a group with people of diverse backgrounds and interests, slang is not appropriate. Speak in a manner that is understood by all to avoid possible conflict.
Proper style of communication can enhance your relationships, boost self-esteem, and help you achieve lifelong success. On the other hand, continuous use of conversation blunders may hinder you from attaining your goals; so be very careful and aware of every word coming out of your mouth.
We may improve our communication system.
Be Happy – Improve Your Communication Skills.