Learning Hints: Keep Harmony after the First Year of Marriage : It is well known that in the first years of family life, spouses get to know each other better and try to find compromises. For some, this process proceeds smoothly, while for others it is especially difficult.
When the agony of after-wedding happiness passes, many couples begin to wonder if they made a mistake in choosing a partner. But this is just a reaction to the process of mutual adaptation. Read about the ways to overcome the adaptation process with the least losses in the first year of family life in this article.
Common Problems in The First Year of Married Life
So why does the first year of marriage become a difficult test instead of the promised eternal happiness? Problems and circumstances may be different, but there are three main factors that can break the harmony in the newly created family in the first year of its existence.
- The main problem of the first year of marriage is the erroneous perception of reality. Modern society has ephemeral ideas that life is a continuous holiday, everyone is always good and cheerful. This image is generated by social networks and the media. Therefore, most young people marry with such a mood and euphoria, and the slightest quarrel becomes a complete collapse of the picture of a happy life. This problem can be considered the first one that all newly married couples face.
- The birth of a child in the first year of life becomes a provoking factor that only adds fuel to the fire in the context of the first problem. There are two sides to the coin here. A child can only burden the relations or, on the contrary, unite a young couple. Unfortunately, the second scenario is more common. Against the background of the disagreements that were before the birth of the child, new conflicts can lead a couple to the point of no return.
- Household issues in the first year of marriage. If a married couple does not have a child in the first year of life, then household issues replace the birth of a child due to the intensity of quarrels. And if there is a child, then this problem will become additional. Usually, it all starts because of a cup that was not washed in the morning, and then it comes down to every little thing.
All of the above especially overtakes the couples who did not live together before the wedding. However, this does not mean that all of this will lead to divorce. But you need to take action already now. How to get over quarrels and conflicts in the first year of marriage?
Mutual Support Is a Panacea in The First Year of Family Life
Mutual support and psychological flexibility should become a lifeline for all troubles after the wedding. It is important to understand that everyone has their own life habits before getting married. As you can imagine, these habits have been formed over the years. The more attached a person is to his old lifestyle, the more difficult it will be to survive the changes that will occur during the newly marriage.
The ability to change and accept new conditions are indicators of psychological flexibility. Someone will develop this flexibility, while others will not. Therefore, one spouse will need to help the other to adapt and work on their relationship together. This is where mutual support is born.
It is important for spouses to stop looking for positive impulses elsewhere, but to become their source. When a partner is waiting for the other to entertain, love, and please, this position will lead to disappointment. When a couple starts working on their relations day by day, then they will have an interest in each other, positive emotions, and then it will be possible to create a unique world.
Only mutual support and the ability to discuss problems can smooth out all family strife. When each spouse pulls the blanket over himself, it will be impossible to get rid of the conflict.
What to Do During the First Year of Family Life?
Now you know what can happen during the first year of married life. So, let’s talk about what to do to avoid problems. The following advice for newlyweds will help you get rid of conflicts and avoid making irreversible mistakes.
Forget Where the Achilles Heel of Your Spouse Is
Unfortunately, when one of the spouses feels disappointed in the other half, they can start hurting. When a person knows his/her partner’s vulnerable points, he/she begins to pressure on them, and this will remain in the memory of the partner for life.
The soulmate will begin to perceive these grievances as a betrayal since he/she trusted and opened up to his/her loved one. Even small reproaches regarding painful points can remain in the memory for a lifetime and with a prolonged blow to these points, this will grow into a serious offense.
Based on this, you need to master emotional balance and control everything that you say. Instead of chiding your beloved one, learn to speak. Try not to touch personal things in quarrels and not to hit on the Achilles’ heel. Otherwise, an abyss will arise between you, which will be very difficult to overstep.
Respect the Spouse’s Family
Parents can become a powerful trigger for the conflicts of newly wedded couples. If at first, the spouses hide their attitude towards relatives, then when the picture of happiness disappears, a negative attitude towards the family may emerge. This can be the impetus for the collapse of the relationship.
The best solution would be to create neutrality towards relatives. Always be respectful and do not turn your soulmate against his/her relatives. Otherwise, resistance can play a cruel joke with you.
Respect Your Soulmate’s Interests or Hobbies
Most couples find that their interests or hobbies diverge. Then the spouse turns on heavy artillery and tries to eradicate a hobby or interest that does not suit his/her taste. In this case, it is important to remember that your soulmate is not your twin. Not always what you like will be liked by your spouse.
The best option is when a couple gives each other the opportunity to do what they love and enjoy their personal space. By the way, this approach can help get rid of many conflicts that we talked about in this article.
When a person has their own space, then there is a feeling of inner freedom. This, in turn, shows that the partner understands the second half and accepts him/her as he/she is. Of course, here we are talking about habits and hobbies that do not harm either the spouse or others.
Protect Your Second Half from Negativity
It is extremely important to protect each other from negative emotions. Learn to feel your partner. For example, if a husband comes home from work, there is no need to criticize him from the start for not taking out the trash or leaving dirty dishes.
Sometimes outside sources can influence your partner’s mood. There can be trouble at work, a disrespectful neighbor, and so on. Then the spouse may come home in a bad mood, but this should not be a reason for you to sort things out. Learn to feel your partner’s emotions, learn to support when needed, and bring your partner’s emotions into balance.
When a person has problems at work and he returns home, the last thing he would like to see is the displeased look of his/her soulmate or listen to “lectures”. You need to learn how to create such an atmosphere at home so that your partner feels safe, calm, and loving. It shouldn’t be a place where chaos and a cycle of quarrels begin.
Top Tools to Improve Relationships
Not all new married are ready to seek help from specialists to improve their relationships in marriage. In fact, this is not always necessary, since many problems can be solved on an independent level. But this will require special literature. Below you will find top books to help you improve your relationship.
This book will be a real guide no matter what problem you are facing. The book starts with an in-depth description of the most common problems that often arise for those who are married for the first year. Next, you will discover simple but effective advice on how to solve your problem.
Fighting is what young couples face. This is not about fights, but about competitions that can arise in relationships and other sources of quarrels. The book has 52 chapters that will help improve relationships and lay a solid foundation for a happy married life.
This book will become a lifeline when one spouse thinks that only he\she is working on a relationship. Simple mechanisms are described here that will bring positive results in your relationship. Even if only one of the spouses works to improve the relationship, then the mechanisms from the book will work.
Most of the conflicts that arise in the first years of married life are the result of the clash of expectations and reality. Sometimes it ends up in the divorce or joint-life in constant stress. But now you have an arsenal of newlyweds advice in order not to get such a result. The main thing to remember is that marriage is primarily about working on yourself. This will bring better results than striving to change your partner.
Jamie Fry – Purposeful and promising author. At this moment he is working at writing services review companies, as Online Writers Rating and Best Writers Online and enhances his blogging skills. Confidently goes to his goal. He has a talent for writing original content. The main conviction in his life: «To be the best in the field in which you are developing». Always in search of fresh ideas.
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Learning Hints: Keep Harmony after the First Year of Marriage
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