Side Chick Syndrome: How to Stop Settling for Second Best

Side Chick Syndrome: How to Stop Settling for Second Best : If you’re the type of sugar baby with a chronic case of side chick syndrome, you likely already know it. Whether you purposefully settle for men who are already spoken for or find out you’re the other woman after you’re already involved, constantly winding up in second place when you know you deserve to be someone’s one and only can be so frustrating.

But it’s important to realize you’re not doomed to be a side chick forever. You can overcome side chick syndrome, break the curse once and for all, and find a sugar daddy who wants you and only you. Here’s how to do it.

Decide what you really want

While it’s understandable that you don’t want to be in a relationship where you’re lied to, strung along, or led to believe you’re more important than you really are to your sugar daddy, it’s still important to ask yourself what you really want instead. Some women (either subconsciously or purposefully) like being a side chick, because they like the lack of pressure.

However, it’s important to realize that you can have casual or non-monogamous relationships without all the secrecy and sneaking around. Ultimately, you deserve to be in a relationship where you (and anyone else involved) knows the shot and consents to everything going on.

Talk to your partner

Once you’re clear with yourself on what you’re really looking for in a relationship, it’s time to sit your sugar daddy down for an honest talk on the subject. Don’t simply assume that if you’re patient enough and pay your side chick dues for long enough that he’ll upgrade your status to main chick on his own.

Tell him what you want, explain why the whole side chick thing just isn’t working for you anymore, and ask him to tell you honestly where you stand. Them give him a chance to respond, listen to what he has to say, and take it from there. There’s a good chance he won’t be willing to change anything and be fairer to you moving forward, but you won’t know until you talk things through.

Unpack your relationship patterns

Any sugar baby can find herself in a side chick kind of situation once or twice in her life. But if this is something that literally always happens to you, it’s important to reflect on your dating patterns and figure out why you have them. Whether you realize it or not, there’s a reason why you’re drawn to men who are already taken.

Some sugar babies are secretly afraid of commitment and think being a side chick is the best way to date casually without doing it in any official capacity. Others have simply gotten used to being a side chick and are worried they don’t have what it takes to be a main squeeze. Before you can break the side chick cycle for good, you need to get to the bottom of why you do what you do.

Break your old habits

The first step to overcoming side chick syndrome for good is to stop acting like a side chick, even if your heart’s not really in it at first. Stop making yourself available to married or attached sugar daddies. Stop answering their calls or texts and responding to their overtures, no matter how sweet or appealing they may seem on the surface.

Remind yourself of the reasons why you wanted to break this cycle in the first place. Tell yourself over and over that you deserve to be someone’s one and only sugar baby. Refuse to settle for anything less, even if it means faking it until you make it.

Mourn your old relationship

If you’re currently a side chick and it’s been determined that your sugar daddy isn’t interested in dating you and only you, then you’ll naturally need to end things. But be kind to yourself and give yourself a chance to mourn what you’ve lost.

It doesn’t matter that you weren’t really in a fully committed relationship as you’d probably define the term. You’ll still miss your sugar daddy and all the dreams you had for your possible future together. You’ll feel the same anger, sadness, and other complicated feelings you’d feel in any other breakup, too.

Decide what’s next

Next, it’s time to decide what you really want and expect from your relationships (and out of life) moving forward. Do you like the idea of keeping things relatively casual moving forward, or do you long to be in a more traditional committed relationship with your next sugar daddy?

Sit down with yourself and figure it out. (Journaling or writing things down can help a lot.) Decide what kind of sugar daddy you need to be with in order to make the life you want for yourself happen. Then refuse to settle for less.