Signs You Should Get Back With Your Ex : There’s a common piece of received wisdom when it comes to dating, and that’s the idea that you should never get back with an ex-partner. When a serious relationship ends, it’s a source of emotional trauma and turmoil for both parties, and there’s a very real risk that re-connecting with your former partner can cause old wounds to re-open.
More importantly than that, there will be a reason why you broke up in the first place. Logic tells us that if something fails once, it’s likely to fail again.
Despite all of the warnings and the received wisdom, though, many people date the same partner more than once. Some couples even marry, divorce, and get back together to re-marry again. Based on that alone, there must be something to be said for it. Perhaps at its core, romance is nothing more than a 2020 casino played with emotions rather than money. The solution to a bad spin on an online slots game is to spin again and see if your fortunes improve. That’s how a lot of players find success. They haven’t changed the online slots game they’re playing, they’ve just tried their hand at it repeatedly until it works. Could trying again and again with the same person yield the same results?
In certain circumstances, the answer to that question is probably “no.” If someone has been abusive or disloyal, it’s almost always a bad idea to give that person a second chance. Not every relationship ends for those reasons, though. There is a myriad of reasons why you might want to go back to an old flame, and here are just a few of them.
Their Priorities Have Changed
When you’re a teenager, people’s career and life aspirations don’t matter that much. You can both want entirely different things out of life, but that won’t matter until you’re a little older. Only when a few years have passed, and you find that there are fundamental differences between your ambitions do cracks begin to appear. A typical example of this would be one partner wanting to have children when the other doesn’t, or one partner wanting to get married when the other doesn’t. Sometimes, though, people change their minds about these important issues as they get older. If you only broke up with someone because they didn’t want children and then find out further down the line that they’re open to the idea, there’s no reason not to go back to them if your old feelings for them are still there.
You Were No Happier Without Them
It’s hard for a lot of people to accept that they’re the cause of their own unhappiness. It’s much easier to blame unhappiness on an external source, and more often than not, the person who gets that blame is your partner. Whatever the true source of your dissatisfaction might be, you can sometimes convince yourself that your partner is holding you back, limiting your life options, or otherwise impeding your route to the life that you want to lead. Only when they’re gone and the unhappiness is still there do you realize that they were never really the problem in the first place. Those of you who find yourself missing your ex-partner many months or years after a split might have a good reason for doing so, and if you’ve had the chance to identify and address the real problem, perhaps it’s time to look them up again and see if you can rekindle the relationship. You might need to apologize a lot before that can happen.
You Didn’t Find Love Elsewhere
Your partner is only the most annoying person in your life until you’ve split up with them and started dating someone else. One of the saddest realities of a long term relationship is that we can sometimes mistake comfort for boredom, and take the little things that someone does for us for granted. These little things are highlighted when we start another relationship, and that new person doesn’t do the things that our former partner used to do. Soon, we realize that they have irritating habits of their own, and those habits are no less annoying than our former partner’s were. The more relationships we have, the easier it becomes to identify who the people we should have hung on to were. It’s not too late to go back if you’ve made a mistake, but before you do, be very sure that you’re not making the same mistake about your current partner.
The Relationship Should Never Have Ended
All of us have been guilty of threatening to break up with someone when we don’t really mean it. Some of us have even gone through with a break-up over a problem that didn’t need to be terminal. There are a whole host of reasons that a relationship might end that, in the grand scheme of things, don’t really matter. There are also problems that go away with time. Your former workaholic partner might now have a better work-life balance. Your immature former partner might have grown up a little in the years since you last saw them. The things that seemed like a major barrier at the time might not be there anymore. If something’s changed – or something was never really a barrier in the first place – then it’s worth having another try at overcoming the problem.
You Can’t Imagine Life Without Them
Stop thinking about the present for a moment, and think about the twilight years of your life. Who is it that you want to grow old with? Who is it that you want to spend your retirement with, and to be by your side right at the end of your life? Is it someone who’s in your life right now, or someone you said goodbye to a long time ago? If it’s the latter, it’s probably not too late. You’re still breathing, and you’re still feeling. Most of us only get one ‘great’ love in our lives, but too many of us let that person go because we couldn’t find a way through a problem. If they’re the only person you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with, fight to bring them back. Don’t settle for what or who you have right now. Life’s too short.
Getting back with an ex can be challenging. There will inevitably be trust issues to overcome, and there will be apologies to make on both sides. When it’s done right, though, it can be the most rewarding experience of your life. Don’t be afraid to do it when your heart tells you it’s the right thing to do.
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