Sex Chat Techniques to Improve Your Marriage : If improving your marriage isn’t currently on your to-do list, it probably should be. Even in good marriages, and perhaps especially in good ones, both spouses want to learn how to make their relationship better.
After all, marriage isn’t necessarily an indicator of happiness – only happy marriages correlate with happiness. However, the quality of your relationships is the sole best predictor of happiness.
Couples therapists have different strategies for improving your marriage. A lot of them center around conflict resolution, communication, and other commonly known platitudes. Going to couples therapy or stopping yourself from saying every critical thing that you think can help improve the state of your relationship in the long run. Some recommend getting more sleep, not spending so much time on social media, and being vocally grateful to your partner for their contributions.
Those strategies are well worth trying. But the truth is, people sometimes have a great marriage but the sex is lacking. That means that a good relationship doesn’t always result in great sex. Relationship therapists like Esther Perel believe that if you can transform the sex, the relationship will follow suit. So, if you want to fast-track your way to a great marriage, start by fixing the sex. Below are the top five sex chat techniques that can improve your marriage.
Change Your Mindset
Sometimes, we lose sight of our sexual identities when we’re in long-term relationships. We get so swallowed whole by the other identities that often take priority in life—partner, parent, professional, maid, chef—that who you are in the bedroom seems to disappear. It’s important to remember who you are and what you want sexually during a sex chat so that you can bring out the sexually adventurous energy from the beginning of your relationship.
Spend Some Time Alone
Sometimes, your partner can end up feeling more like a roommate than the person you want to have sex with. This is a natural part of being in a long-term marriage. Yet, you can fight against it by having enough alone time and space to have a private life. A little bit of distance can make the sex hotter because it can eliminate the idea that you know everything about your partner, which can be boring. So, when you’re sex chatting, try to schedule it for a time when you can’t be physically together. Perhaps your spouse is on a work trip, or you’re on a getaway with your best friends. Not being in the same location forces the mystery back into your relationship.
Try Something Out of Character
You don’t have to do something that feels wrong to you, but it’s a good idea to try something that you don’t typically do. If you don’t have any lingerie, now’s the time to buy some! You can surprise your partner by wearing something revealing during your sex chat. If lingerie is commonplace in your relationship, consider purchasing a sex toy that can introduce new sensations into your sex chat.
To get the most out of sex chat, do what you say you’re doing. Rather than just fantasizing together, carve out time to take off your clothes or touch yourself if that’s where your sex chat is heading. If your partner is not around, they won’t know the difference, but you will.
Consider Practicing With People You Don’t Know
Depending on the trust levels of your relationship, you could start by having a sex chat with someone you don’t know. This is a good idea for people who are unfamiliar with chatting and don’t know what to say. The nerves and the adrenaline that you feel when you’re talking to someone new carry over into your bedroom with your spouse—just ask any couple that practices polyamory. Newfound sexual energy, no matter where you found it, will boost the fun for both of you. But before you try this, make sure your partner is okay with it, and choose a site that protects your privacy.
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