Everyone’s heard about this “sexual peak” notion, right? Like that guys are at their sexual best around 18, and women hit their stride around 30—or something like that. Well, according to a new survey by sex toy company Lovehoney, women actually report having the “best sex” of their lives around age 26, while for men, it’s age 32—so pretty much the opposite of the old “sexual peak” myth. But the really interesting part of the survey is this: Chances are…if you’re having sex at all these days, no matter how old you are, it’s the best sex of your life.
Lovehoney found that 46 percent of people said they were having the best sex of their lives with their current partners, regardless of age. They also found that quantity doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with quality—only 35 percent of people said they were having the “most sex” of their lives. In other words: For many people, the best sex of their lives did not happen when they were having the most.
The bottom line here is that this whole idea of a “sexual peak” is something you totally do NOT need to worry about. “Women have their ‘sexual peak’ when they’re feeling the most free, energized, and tuned into their sexuality,” says Jane Greer, Ph.D. a New York-based marriage and sex therapist and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. But, she adds, there’s no reason to lock that to a particular age or time.
“In your 20s, you’re usually in an exclusive relationship and feeling free to be sexually active, which is why women are probably more sexually expressive during this time,” explains Greer. “To say this is the ‘peak,’ though, and where it’s going to stop, is not realistic. It’s not a mountain where it will all go downhill from here; it’s simply at a high point and can certainly stay high.”
And that’s really the important point: If you’re having a great sex life now, there’s no need to think this is the best it will ever be. “It’s realistic to expect ebbs and flows over the course of your sexual life,” says Greer. “However, when you’ve attained a certain level of passion, pleasure, and satisfaction, it always remains in reach, no matter how old you are.”
On the other had, if you feel like your “peak” is ahead of you, take heart! “Be confident in knowing it’s simply a matter of finding the right partner,” says Greer. “Stay positive and encouraged that, from where you are sexually right now, there’s the opportunity to build and enhance over time. Know you can continue to augment and enhance.”
See? There’s always something to look forward to when it comes to sex!