Five Mistakes You Should Avoid On A First Date

Five Mistakes You Should Avoid On A First Date : A first date is a stressful experience at the best of times. You’re bound to be excited about going on a date – especially if it’s been a while – but you’re also bound to be worried about what to talk about, how you’re going to be judged, and whether or not you’re going to get along with the person you’re about to meet.

It feels almost like a job interview, and it’s also a social minefield to navigate. It’s no wonder that so many of us end up staying single for so long!

To add to the problem, the process of setting up a first date is a lot less personable than it used to be. We all do it from behind the safety of our phone screens, flicking through potential dates with all the care and attention of someone spinning and then re-spinning the reels of a game at a Paypal slots website. You could even go further with that comparison. After all, you’re unlikely to win anything with your first spin when you’re playing online slots. You’re far more likely to hit the jackpot on your tenth, or perhaps even your hundredth spin.

Dating is even worse, though. At least all you’ll have lost is money if it takes you one hundred spins to find a winner with online slots. If you’ve been on one hundred first dates, you’ll have lost money, time, and probably more than a little self-respect along the way!

Is there anything we can do to make the process a little easier? Are there mistakes we should be avoiding on first dates? Of course there are, and we’ve identified five of them for you in this article!

Talking About Your Ex Too Much

There are reasons that both of you are single and available to date. Both of you will have ex-partners, and both of you will have stories to tell about those relationships. It’s natural for this topic to come up in conversation. That doesn’t mean you have to dwell on it or give too much detail at too early a stage. There’s a whole etiquette that comes with discussing old relationships with new partners, and information overload during the first date isn’t the way to go. Keep it brief, and provide the headline reason for the end of the relationship in a diplomatic way. Don’t suggest you’re holding on to resentment or bitterness toward your ex-partner. If you do, you may as well tell your new date that you’re not over your ex yet, and you’re not ready for anything new.

Drinking To Excess

You’re understandably nervous about your date. What do you do to boost your confidence? Drink! The more you drink, the more relaxed and conversational you become. Drink too much, though, and you’ll find yourself saying things you never planned to say, providing way too much information, and perhaps even doing things you had no intention of doing at the beginning of the date. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a drink or two; just recognize your limits and be conscious of them. There are methods you can use to control your anxious drinking, so familiarize yourself with them and don’t veer off the straight and narrow.

Turning Up Late

This is disrespectful. We’re not just talking in a ‘first date’ context here; we’re talking in an ‘everything in life’ context. Turning up late for any social or professional engagement is rude and inconsiderate. The person you’re meeting is giving up their time for you, and if you can’t be punctual, you’re suggesting that their time isn’t important to you. This isn’t a great way to start any relationship, and it shouldn’t surprise you if your subsequent request for a second date is disregarded. If you’re concerned that you won’t be able to get away from work or another social engagement in time to make the start of your date, reschedule for another day or a later time. Don’t just wing it by turning up half an hour late and expecting everything to be fine. It will make your date begin to worry that they’ve been stood up, which is an unpleasant thing to do to anybody.

Staying Glued To Your Phone

It’s sensible to arrange to have someone ‘check in’ with you during a date to make sure everything’s going well, and provide you with an escape route if it isn’t. Receiving and responding to a message from them should be the limit of what you do with your phone while you’re on your date. You’re there to talk and to build a connection. You can’t do that if half of your focus is on your social media feed or your WhatsApp messages. We’ve all become far too accustomed to living our lives through our phones rather than the interactions we have in person, but you can break the habit for long enough to give your date your full attention. This goes both ways. If your date is spending too much time on their phone, it’s a good reason not to see them again. Like lateness, this comes down to respect.

Not Showing Curiosity

Never miss an opportunity to ask your date a question about their life and interests. People love to talk about themselves, and the things that come up in response to open questions form the basis of whole conversations. If you become conscious that you’ve been talking about yourself at length, or that your date knows a lot more about you than you do about them, address the balance by shutting up and returning the spotlight to them. It’s easy to get carried away talking about your own life, but you could be giving the impression that you’re a narcissist even if you’re not. As soon as you’re done answering their questions, make sure you come back with one of your own before you go any further.

There’s no guarantee that any first date will work out, but if you can turn up on time, avoid awkward conversations about exes, give your date your full attention and find out as much as you can about them during that first date, you’ll glean enough information to decide whether or not you want to see them again. Do any of that wrong, and you’ll struggle to build a strong enough connection to justify a second date. It’s OK to be nervous, but it’s not OK for that nervousness to translate into bad habits. Keep your focus on them, keep the conversation flowing, and your chances of success will improve!